FORLORN IN FRANCE:

There my buttocks remained firmly planted onto the bar stool, carving away its own impression in the wood. My backside and the stool soon became conjoined twins as I looked for answers at the bottom of a pint glass. Beer after beer, thought after thought, my mind raced with a magnitude of feelings and scenario's. With every empty pint glass that slammed onto the bar everything became more and more clouded.
I was at the infamous "3 ducks hostel" just minutes from the Eiffel tower. I had only spent 1 night there so far and slept terrible. I was overwhelmed with melancholy which broadcast itself to the world in my drunken eyes. I was facing quite a dilemma at the moment. Although no one could see it an epic battle was underway.

My wallet and common sense sat on one shoulder with a halo above its head. It was preaching non sense like "You have only known these people and that girl for less than a month" and of course "you already paid a lot of money for an entire week in Paris including transportation, lodging, and international travel"
Meanwhile as my inebriation became more and more apparent the opposite shoulder was home to risk taking and a beautiful Danish girl donned with a pitch fork and tail. Thanks to the ethanol alcohol level steadily pulsating through my veins, this shoulder soon became the triumphant one.

During this time I reminisced of many things in my past and recalled a squad leader I had in the Army. He was an airborne ranger and made me "squad leader for a day" so I could learn what it was like. That day my company was conducting a large simulated urban training exercise (better known as MOUT in the military) As part of the exercise we all wore lazer sensitive vest and each time we shot a round from our rifle, a harmless lazer was sent towards our target instead of a real bullet.

Upon entering a house that my squad was searching we began taking fire. I stood there dumb founded, unsure of who I should order to what location and what the best way to eliminate the enemy force was. I hesitated and wasted precious seconds thinking before finally barking orders for the rest of my squad to follow. As a result of my delay we lost some men in the simulation. After the simulation was over that wise old ranger gave me some advise I still remember and follow to this day. "A decision, even a bad decision, is better than no decision at all."

 Many hours and a whirlwind of thoughts went by at that bar in 3 ducks hostel until I worked up enough courage to send a message to that Danish girl. I asked if she would think I was crazy if I boarded the next Euro Star train back to London, even if it was my last time to see her and the others and if only for a few days. My eyes lit up when I saw her reply. Needless to say moments later I bid a farewell to Paree. I was on my way back to London. It had costed me thousands of dollars and a trip to Paris but for some reason I could not wipe that disgusting shit eating grin off my face, no matter how hard I tried.

To be continued.........